Successful Actions

Below are some successful actions that might help you enjoy dating more, and play the game.

Your profile is FREE promotion for you! You can say as much as you want in the essay sections, and you can upload as many photos as you want.

The profile lets people know that you are looking, and WHO you are – helping you to pull in your dream girl or guy. So keep that in mind when creating your profile.

 

1) HAVE A GOOD PHOTO OR PHOTOS OF YOUSELF ON YOUR PROFILE

The first thing you should do is get a photo or photos of yourself on your profile. MANY MEMBERS DON’T VIEW PROFILES THAT DON’T HAVE A PHOTO.

Your photo is your first line of promotion, so it’s worth it to get a really good one. The more aesthetic it is (without being unreal), the more it will attract and help get a communication line in.

Here are some helpful hints for taking good pictures:

– From research found about Internet dating, people get more response when you show one or more pictures of yourself DOING SOMETHING you enjoy. The typical “head shot” with you just standing there, tends to get much less response.

– It’s best to have someone else take the photos. Photos taken by yourself (a selfie) with a digital camera or smart phones are usually not very good.

– Wear good colors and clothing styles that show you off best.

 

2) MAKE SURE YOUR PROFILE IS FILLED OUT

By filling out your profile, people will know WHO YOU ARE.

Make sure your Prince Charming or your Lovely Lady can find you!

Having your profile filled out will make it easy for Prince Charming or your Lady to know who you are and that you are there. They are looking – so make sure they find you.

 

3) WRITE UP YOUR IDEAL RELATIONSHIP

 

4) OUTFLOW = INFLOW

There are numerous reasons why it is to your advantage to outflow to people as well as being selected by others. One is simply the magic of outflow. Another is that outflowing is better than being effect or just waiting.

Go through the member listings on the website. You should send an email to any possible prospects along the lines of “You’re someone I’m curious about. I am ___________(Username). Please look me up and let me know if you’re curious about me” – or say anything you feel would be good to communicate.

So new member “Joe” comes in, makes his selections, sends out his letters, and gets some rejects, some responses, meets some girls, but maybe 3-4 months later, nothing has “clicked”, and things have quieted down. Then one day he checks his email, and there’s your message. Wow! Someone reached. You think he’s going to give it his full attention? Very likely. The chances of his responding are probably higher than when he first started playing the game. Thus there’s a time/timing factor involved. Therefore I suggest that you keep the flows flowing both ways – pick and be picked.

Keep in mind – while outflowing – the purpose of a dating service is to get people connected up and be able to meet face to face!

 

5) “PRE-DATES” AND DATES

“Dating” is defined as “Informal: To make or have a social engagement with a person.” (American Heritage Dictionary)

An expanded definition could be: “Spending time with a person of the opposite sex with the purpose of finding out if that person could become a long-time partner.”

When both parties are in the same geographical area, it’s best to have a first face-to-face meeting that is very inexpensive, e.g. meet for coffee. Sometimes people can know within minutes of meeting if they have romantic interest in the other person or not.

This first meeting (sometimes brief), could be called a “PRE-DATE” – to see if there is enough mutual interest to then have a real DATE.

Thus you should put out communication to various prospects, which leads to “pre-dates”, to find out if there is mutual interest. Then you would start dating that person if the interest is there.

Certainly at the point you get intimate with someone you should go into Hidden status with your profile, so that it does not come up in a Search.

By applying the “pre-date” guideline, one can avoid being “stuck” with the wrong person for hours.

 

6) IT’S THE COMMUNICATION – PERSON TO PERSON – THAT IS ESSENTIAL

We need to remind ourselves that communication is senior to everything else.

There was a magazine article in which a Chicago matchmaker was quoted as saying the following:

“Only a 10 can ask for a 10. It’s true that when one reads through the profiles, one gets the feeling that ‘everyone’ is looking for/demanding a 10. Yet, I can tell you that the percentage of my clients who might be classified as a 10 is about 1/2 of 1% (or less)! Most people are not 10’s. The world is full of married people and couples, very few of whom are 10’s. So how did these relationships come to be? THEY MET AND COMMUNICATED! And that’s all a dating service is there to do: Help people meet and get into communication! When communication is good and realities are shared, AFFINITY goes up.”

 

7) THE “R” WORD – REJECTION

One of the best abilities a person can have when dating is the ability to reject and be rejected hundreds of times over without it being a problem. Better to play the game, confront, experience and learn from it than not to play the game at all!

REJECTION is the biggest button, and the hardest thing to confront in this game. Who likes being rejected? Who likes rejecting another? And yet to be a successful player of the dating game, one needs the ability to reject and be rejected HUNDREDS OF TIMES OVER without it being a problem.

In the world, rejection happens all the time. He asks her to dance. She says no. She flirts with him. He ignores her. It happens directly. It happens indirectly.

A standard rejection letter should be straightforward and simple. Here’s an example – bare bones (Okay to copy this, tweak it to make it your own, and use it rather than not respond):

“Thank you very much for contacting me. I have looked over your profile and photo. You have many good qualities. However, overall it is not close enough to what I am looking for (or ‘it doesn’t quite fit my needs and wants’).   I wish you success in your search for the right person.”

So now they know you did get their reach, you did consider it, and you made your decision. Fair enough. On to the next.

Realize that most people understand (or will after they read this) that REJECTION IS ROUTINE in a dating service and in dating. It’s what’s expected. You could reject bunches of them, and bunches of them could reject you. So what?

 

8) OUT-OF-TOWN DATING

Reaches often occur to people outside one’s area, that is, not within driving distance. Here is a situation that can come up when first getting to know a person by phone without having first met:

A couple can get so carried away over the phone, that they nearly get engaged without ever having met. Then when they do meet, it can fall apart within minutes, and now they have to be together for a couple of days or more. Not a comfortable situation!

All the time and effort put into this could have been avoided by keeping the phone communication BRIEF – at least until you’ve met and know there is ongoing interest.

 

9) SIZING UP YOUR PROSPECT

Another good policy is the following: It’s better to make sure you’re both a good match AS YOU ARE, rather than hope for changes to occur. People can change, but one cannot be sure that they will or know how long it might take to bring about those changes.

 

10) NOT A LOT OF REACHES – DATING DOESN’T APPEAR TO BE WORKING FOR YOU

Here’s some ideas:

Change your main profile photo from time to time. You can also change your photos in your Photo Album. Each time you change photos in either place, they will show up in the “New Photos Uploaded” section of the website (under “search” on the navigation bar) – which can create good promotion for you.

Change the text in your profile, and present another view of yourself from time to time.

Are you outflowing enough?

Are you checking out new people as they come on?

It may help to purchase the Premium STAR Membership – you will be ranked higher in the search engine listing by doing that.

Keep in mind, the person you finally get together with may not come from the dating service, but could very well come from some other area of your life! Outflow = Inflow   The Inflow could come from anywhere.

Hopefully these successful actions can help you out. Are there any successful actions in dating that have worked for you?   We’d love to hear them!